Take one tail end of fresh salmon and the same of white fish (haddock or cod). Place the fish on a baking sheet with a small diced onion, half a teaspoon of crushed garlic and a pinch of black pepper. Bake in a moderate oven 175C/350F/gas 3-4 for about 15 minutes. Remove the fish and allow it to cool in a large bowl. At this stage, add 150g/5oz of either fresh crab meat or a small tin of crab meat. Then add a good handful of chopped coriander and a diced cooked pepper. (Tinned peppers are ideal for this job.) Add a tablespoon of Thai sweet chilli sauce. Gently fork all these ingredients together with a whole egg and two tablespoons of breadcrumbs. The mixture can now be patted into the size that you require (squash ball size for a starter or scotch egg size for a main, whichever you like.) These can go back in the oven for a further 10-15 minutes or even the microwave for a while (different power microwaves have different cooking times, so consult your instructions). Meanwhile “back in the kitchen”, take a carrot and cut it into matchsticks, and half a red pepper, half a courgette, four baby corns, a quarter of a leek and eight mushrooms. All the vegetables should be cut the same way as the carrot. Stir fry all of these vegetables, keeping them crunchy (this will only take about two minutes in a hot wok). Add to the vegetables approx. 300g/10-12oz of ready cooked noodles stirring gently, a good handful of bean sprouts and two tomatoes cut into four. Now finish with the zest and juice of a lime, a good handful of coriander, a tablespoon of sweet chilli sauce and a splash of soy sauce. Serve this immediately in an attractive pile next to your fish cakes and garnish with a decent wedge of lime. I think that a really cold bottle of Thai beer goes well with this as it has a very dry finish to it, helping with the strong coriander and chilli combination.